Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 16 to 22 of 22

Thread: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

  1. #16
    Moderator Vivat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    India
    Posts
    136
    Rep Power
    26

    Re: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

    @ paramour99 : I am happy to know that you share the same equation with your mom that I share with my dad :-) Thats a very sweet bond . I can vouch one thing, for sure. My dad was disappointed in me, initially, maybe but he supported my decision secretly.
    [Why would one secretly support his son when he was perhaps disappointed in the beginning? Its the conflict of interest.
    a) He knew that his son is being ethical in voicing his opinion that he will not play with an innocent girl's dreams, emotions and life.

    b) The guilt that his son isnt immaculate as per Indian society.]

    @ sky : wow! you explained few things in a very logical way :-) I appreciate you thought process in taking those decisions and effort for educating us :-)

    I loved your posts from "Hmmm. to " but the below statement of yours is something that I loved the most
    I view consistency within myself to be the highest form of integrity
    BTW, on a lighter note, would the above statement make you predictable? It should (considering that you arent consistently inconsistent )

  2. #17

    Re: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

    @Vivat - Too much praise blushing here.

    Quote Originally Posted by Vivat View Post
    BTW, on a lighter note, would the above statement make you predictable? It should (considering that you arent consistently inconsistent )
    Yes. I guess it does. What I consider consistency (and hope which translates into reliability for all my friends) does make me predictable. People who know me that there are things they can never make me do, and know that there are times that they can always count on me.

    Or maybe that's all faff inside my head - the way I like to view myself

    anyways .... back to the topic...

    Vivat - I really like the way you've described your dad's reaction.

  3. #18
    Member Size: L
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Posts
    152
    Rep Power
    26

    Re: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

    @ 11 & 12 SKYUNENDING I can't stop thinking how blissful life must be for you! Kudos to you buddy, for achieving it. The way, you said, you kept on bringing up the issue upfront, and sort it out with your parents was indeed courageous. Wow, that's amazing! I am actually imagining the screenplay of it all. In which room of the house would you bring up the discussion, what time of the day it would be, how many people would be there in the room, what would be the exact line that you would say? Your mother's exact reaction and her facial expressions before that reaction? Hehehe. Hug you man.

    And specially, the way you felt about the need to come out, is exactly what I feel. I am fed up of the pretence. Why should I lie every time when I am asked about why I don't have a girl friend or why I am not married or why I don't want to get married? I mean, I am not a Satyavadi Harishchanra, but living a life of pretence every single moment is a really getting on to me. It's unbearable. But I have the greatest clarity that coming out to my folks will ruin everything. Not me, but them. I don't have the slightest confidence to deal with it. So I guess, got to live with that dilemma.

  4. #19
    Member Size: S
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Ahmedabad
    Posts
    8
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

    @ Mayan

    well yes in a way... i'm Glad bcz at least now she knows what i'd be looking for in future. She now has an idea that what i dont want in my life to happen.

    0nce she asked directly why i was ignored in college and wasnt going to college at all... that's when i told her everything what happened in college but i left the place after discussing .. that'd have been the right time to come out i guess.!

    yes ,i'm definitely planning to discuss the entire thing with her..

    @sky
    you might have already above my rpl to Mayan.. i told her things not going well in college and the reason. I pretty much messed my college life. we never talk about my sexuality but she always tells me that she wants nothing from me than good grades and great life ahead so that i can be happy with whatever i want in my life.. she often tells me that it's okay for me if i dont get married but now it's time for me to make my your career..

    i was okay with my putting up ' Interested in Men' on FB except for once that i had to change it for some reason to add some one i knew.. ( not that i'm extremely brave or something but i knew no cousin or people of my society would send me add request :P .. i didnt really matter either way )

    @ Vivat

    Doesn't really feel good , the Bond ?? she was somewhere disappointed too but supported me and my decision. i Didn't tell them that i don't want to get Married when i accidently came out it was even before that, they always knew that i didn't want to get Marry (a girl of course .. who'd say No To a Guy
    Last edited by paramour99; 29-06-2012 at 04:26 PM.

  5. #20

    Re: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

    @paramour

    Though I'm not sure old you are, and what stage of life you're on (final year college, first job, trying to figure out life, quarter life crises, etc), it does sound like you're doing pretty well. And that you and your family are going to end up reconciling things in the best manner possible. Also, it sounds like your sister's on your side - and that helps a lot, I think. I had to 'battle' my siblings as well as my parents. But sounds to me like you'll be quite okay once the shock tides over.

    One more thing - I do realize when I talk about my coming out, that everything I discuss is in 'post-success' mode - so it may automatically seem like I'm implying that if you do A, then that leads to B. That may not be the case, and will probably not be the case for everyone. And that brings us back full circle to the extremely personal decision of coming out, and it being different for everyone.

  6. #21
    Member Size: S
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Ahmedabad
    Posts
    8
    Rep Power
    0

    Re: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

    @ Sky.. I'm 22 and just Graduated. Actually I Flunked Twice so My Mother is worried More about my Results than About My being Gay !
    My Parents have Given us lot of Freedom. I'm Doing Pretty Well and I don't really Think i'd ever be in any trouble Because Of My Sexuality. Keeping My parents in Mind, I struggled More with My studies and trying to change college.. I never Had any arguments with my parents for being Like this.

    Yes i do agree on that too

  7. #22
    Moderator BigBoyMayan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2012
    Location
    Mumbai
    Posts
    373
    Rep Power
    26

    Re: Coming Out: Should it be a personal choice or not?

    Thank you Paramour for answering

    This thread has now certainly given me the answer I was looking, thank you to all guys who replied.
    Mayan
    GIF Admin
    My Blog: Gay In Bombay

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •