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Thread: A Wife for my mother

  1. #1
    Moderator BigBoyMayan's Avatar
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    A Wife for my mother

    Ever imagine what it would be like if the roles are reversed? We are gay and we always think about situations from our perspective when coming out of the closet or when dealing with our family.

    What happens if one of the family member comes out as gay? How would it feel if it is one of your parents?

    Here's an interesting piece (yes again on Huffington!) by Stephanie Covington Armstrong about her Mother and how she wants to find a wife for her Mother and the reason for doing so

    Yes, I am ready for my mother to have a girlfriend and possibly a wife. I don't care if that means moving to one of the six states that allows gay marriage. My mother's wedding would be the perfect excuse to visit Hawaii.
    Read the full article here
    Mayan
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  2. #2
    Moderator Vivat's Avatar
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    Re: A Wife for my mother

    Wow!

    I read it once but I am not satisfied. I want to read it at least a dozen times more before I comment anything about the article. A wonderful read, I must say!

    Thank you, Mayan

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    Re: A Wife for my mother

    I haven't read the article that has been suggested here.
    But if anyone in the family were to come out as gay, I would be the first one to go ahead, hug the person and let him/her know that nothing is going to change. Everything is just as normal as it were earlier.

    Being gay, one of the greatest things that has to me is: I have become a better human being! For sure.

  4. #4
    Moderator BigBoyMayan's Avatar
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    Re: A Wife for my mother

    You are welcome Vivek

    Passion, are you saying that if you were straight, there is a chance you might not be as good a human being? That you may have been less tolerant of homosexuality? That you are tolerant and understand it only because you are gay yourself? Does this mean the homophobes are justified in their way of thinking?
    Mayan
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    Re: A Wife for my mother

    @ 4 OMG, so many objections BIGBOYMAYAN. Wait, let's take them one by one.

    First of all, I would not know how I would have reacted if I were straight. I don't know what would have been my immediate reaction and what would have been my 'cultivated' reaction to homosexuality.

    Secondly, being gay has definitely made me empathize with the plight of anyone who could be into minority. Be it language, religion, economic class-wise, gender wise, etc, etc. It's like, I know it because I have gone through it. And therefore my claim, that being has made me a better person.

    And finally, whether I feel that homophobes are justified in their way of thinking? Well, outright, NO! No way. There is no question about it. But then, homosexuality has made me more understanding (which as I said above is due to me having gone through it.) I have been thinking about "genuine" homophobes. By genuine, I mean, those Alpha Males who have a very natural disgust for homosexuality. First of all, they are unaware about what homosexuality actually is, and secondly, even if they are made to be aware of it, they are soooooo Alpha type personalities, that they just cannot digest it; same sex love and same sex relationships are beyond their imagination.
    So now, just look at this: What we feel is a totally normal, natural, beyond our control, unalterable, (and therefore justified) lifestyle, is for them a totally disgusting, perverted lifestyle. And where does that leave me? That leaves me screaming in pain and telling them, "Just because something is beyond your imagination, comprehension, that doesn't mean others should not do it? Have some sense of "tolerance." Everyone, and everything can't be the way you want it." So my conclusion: Their intolerance to something which they cannot accept is hurting others and they have no idea how much pain they are causing to them.
    Having understood this fact clearly, I would never do that to others. I am okay if they cannot readily or immediately accept us the way we are, but what I object is the way they want to dictate our lives and refuse us our rights to live as human beings just because we are 'different.' I can understand their phobia, but I cannot understand their intolerance. Which is where I feel I have become a better person.

    For me, the question is, not whether I would be okay with any of my family member being gay; for me the question is, Unlike the homophobes, will I be able to tolerate to something which is beyond my comprehension or imagination? Yes I will. And if I am not able to accept it, I will move aside, and let others live their lives the way they want to. I will certainly not dictate my terms to them. To that extent Mayan, I have certainly become a better human being. And it's all because, I am gay. I have gone through it.

    (Did it make any sense? If not, then maybe we'll discuss it face to face. Hehehe.)
    Last edited by passionizzta; 28-06-2012 at 12:24 PM.

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    Moderator BigBoyMayan's Avatar
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    Re: A Wife for my mother

    Your reply made perfect sense to me. Thank you for taking the time to answer in detail like this and for not taking my questions (I would not call them objections) in the wrong sense. I fully understand what you mean.

    My take? Yes what you said is true. Being gay certainly might have made you a better human being but it would not be the case if you didn't have basic humanity in you. Have you heard that many of the biggest homophobes are actually closetted homosexuals themselves? This has been proved many times over when such individuals got outed. They do not have the basic humanity to understand their own situation so being gay will not make them better human beings.

    This reminds me of this wonderful video.



    P.S. Won't mind understanding it better face to face though
    Last edited by BigBoyMayan; 28-06-2012 at 02:57 PM.
    Mayan
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    Member Size: M somethingsomething's Avatar
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    Re: A Wife for my mother

    Nice article and nice video.

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